postpartum doula

4 Feb 2016

Deirdre McLary Blog, Breastfeeding, Doula Bergen County, breastfeeding, breastfeeding cookies, Doula, essex county, galactagogue, IBCLC, Lactation Consultant, lactation cookies, Maplewood, morris county, Newborn, North Jersey, Nyack, NYC, postpartum, postpartum doula, supplementing, Westchester

Lactation Cookies Mean Nothing If …

FullSizeRender (21) — Photo by Tamara Novak – who lovingly baked and brought Lactation Cookies to our LLL meetings on a few occasions and we *loved* them. Cookies are good. But a good latch is better!

YOUR LATCH STINKS!!

You know what I’m talking about, we’ve all had them, and they’re mmmmm, mmmmm, good! How many wonderful cookie recipes are out there? Those mouth-watering images of ooozing, warm from the oven, melted chocolate, cookies. With crisp toasted coconut even! You can smell the nutty oats and cinnamon as your read, right? Sign me up! Pass the recipe! Where can I get a bunch!

We love a good cookie! Heck, we’re postpartum doulas *and* lactation consultants. So it’s in our maternal and professional instincts to nourish you and bring you wholesome food and cookies to fuel you up as a new mom. We even have our own recipe for them on our FB page!

But ladies, cut it out, will you? Can you promise us that before you buy any brewers yeast, chia or flax you’ll make sure that your latch is correct, and that baby’s oral anatomy is working? You could eat a thousand cookies a week, and you will see zero difference in your milk supply if you have a poor latch, and are not effectively emptying the breast.

The number one way to increase milk supply is to empty the breast … frequently, regularly, effectively. Either with baby or a good pump. If that’s not happening seek advice and wisdom to guide you toward fixing that problem. It’s so easy as a new mom to be seduced by marketing, especially if it’s yummy food …. with chocolate. But words of wisdom: as an IBCLC I don’t issue any recommendation for galactagogues until I’ve assessed and confirmed what the issue is that is preventing a good milk supply. Please take this advice with you as you travel your mommy groups and FB pages, where the minute a mom mentions low supply people start throwing oatmeal and blue Gatorade at her.

Low milk supply happens, but it doesn’t “just” happen. There’s a reason. And as much as we’d love for the answer to be a cookie, that’s usually not going to do the job. But if you want to make cookies, because cookies are awesome and they should be enjoyed, go for it! Just save us some.

Deirdre & Kim

24 Jan 2016

Deirdre McLary Blog, Childbirth, Doula, Doula Agency, Maternity Agency, postpartum, Pregnancy baby, baby nurse, Bergen County, Birth, birth doula, childbirth, Doula, expecting, Maplewood, Newborn, newborn expert, North Jersey, Nyack, NYC, postpartum, postpartum doula, Pregnancy, Rockland County, what's a doula?

Why You Don’t Want a Doula

1. “I have my partner to support me.” We totally understand this, and support it 100%. Your partner is there because they know and love YOU, above all others. We want that for you! We’re there because we know and love childbirth and postpartum. And think you could use that kind of support, too. We see it at every birth – beloved partners stepping in to their deserved role of new daddy/momma, while providing the most amazing and loving support. They know you well. But they don’t know birth quite as well. That’s where we fit in. The role of a doula is not to displace your partner. The role of the doula is to add support to the already loving dynamic you two share, to hold you both up while the three of us do what comes naturally. Doulas are there to ease the burden and expectation that your partner has to be all things – labor support, OB, midwife, lactation consultant, newborn expert, pain coping strategist. Your partner will support you as only some one who’s known you so long can. We want that to happen, and will make it happen seamlessly, where each of us provides the exact support the birthing or new momma needs.

2. “I’m not sure I want a stranger there.” We get it. We start out strangers. Why on earth would you want to invite someone you don’t even know into probably the single most intimate moment of your life? Here’s how we see it. We won’t be strangers for long. When you’re at your most vulnerable, when you’re feeling unsure or needing the tender touch or wisdom of encouragement – it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known that person, but more that they’re the right person for you. It’s chemistry! We’ve all fallen in love instantly with say a cab driver or that guy at the coffee shop, or the new neighbor down the hall. You know right away if you can stand this person, right? You’ve met enough people in life to have cultivated a pretty good filter for knowing if the fit is right.

This is why we are a collective of doulas. We highly recommend you meet and interview several doulas, because sometimes you just know it’s right with the first person you talk to, and that’s great. But not always, so it’s smart to talk to two or three people and see who’s style you click with. One thing is for sure – doulas are united in wanting you to have the best birth and postpartum experience you can have. So meet a few of us! We’re cool with that. We expect it. You need to find the person you know, from that very first phone call, is the right doula for you. That’s the magic of chemistry. Then, if there’s time and you hire early – we have weeks, even months to be in touch regularly to get to know each other further. The relationship evolves, and voila, we are no longer strangers.

3. “It’s too expensive.” We don’t agree with this. Christian Louboutin’s? They’re maybe too expensive. And all you’re really getting are pretty feet. A doula is an investment that has short and long-term value. The benefits to mother, partner and baby go beyond any trend or fad. Only you know your budget though, your comfort zone on spending money. We don’t want our work to add to your stress over the cost of having a baby. The good news is that more and more doula agencies and collectives are popping up. And they offer everything from tiered pricing to “new doula” mentorship, which allows their training to offset the cost of the fee you would pay. This means we pretty much guarantee we can help you find a doula who fits your “having a baby” budget.

Let’s be realistic. Having a baby is expensive. And while for most, insurance pays for the birth and medical bills, you have to figure out your priorities postpartum. With ample data and research on how doulas create better outcomes for mothers and babies, how we all don’t look at having one as a worth while investment is beyond us. If we know that better outcomes mean better mother/baby bonding … which leads to greater success in breastfeeding … which means all kinds of cost savings, from formula to long-term health benefits, well, you see where we’re going. Talk to doulas, get their pricing and start saving early. Ask about payment plans and gift certificates. If you’re adding those big-ticket items to your baby registry, like a crib, or a stroller, add a doula too. Get your girlfriends and family to go in on it as a joint gift idea. Bottom line, if you’re sold on the idea of having a doula at your side, either at the birth or postpartum, then don’t let the cost hold you back!

4. “I don’t even know what a doula does.” Let us tell you then! We’d love to sit and have a cup of coffee with you to discuss all we do at MommaArts. Just give us a shout. In the mean time, there are hundreds of excellent articles, blogs and reviews about what a doula does. Here’s a recent one we liked and shared on our FB page. If you’ve opened this blog up though, and started to read, that probably means you already know you’re interested in doula care, and might just be on the fence about it. We’d still love to talk to you, to clear up any questions you may have or myths that are out there about what we do. Most important to us is that you know that we support all births choices. We’re not one kind of doula. We’re every doula, and want to bring our love of the work to you.

Deirdre & Kim

4 Dec 2015

Deirdre McLary Blog, Doula, Lifestyle, new mother, postpartum, Pregnancy baby, Bergen County, children, Doula, Maplewood, maternal instincts, moms life, Newborn, newborn expert, North Jersey, Nyack, NYC, parent whisperer, parenting, postpartum doula, Pregnancy, Rockland County, trust

Momma Instincts

Recently I thought I was going crazy. Like *actually* crazy. I could hear faint music. SO faint. My husband couldn’t hear it at all. I asked him to check the iPad across the room but he said it wasn’t on. For a minute it went away. My brain was flipping through scenarios from bad TV shows…baby monitor picking up stalker bad guy in another house? But we don’t have a baby monitor anymore!! Maybe my fillings were picking up some frequency? Is that even possible?

I could hear it plain as day…but it was so faint. I was really thinking, “so this is it – this is insanity…auditory hallucinations – what’s that? Schizophrenia? I asked my husband to check around the house. I noted that my heart was beating too fast and I was feeling super stressed at the thought of hearing something that wasn’t there. My husband was looking at me with a freaked out expression. Then I looked at the iPad he had rejected as the source and saw headphones were plugged in. I put them to my ears and heard the music. We both started laughing. My husband questioned his hearing…I said maybe mine is just exceptional!

But what does this have to do with pregnancy, birth and parenting, you are probably asking. Well, I want to suggest that when you “hear” something – or have a feeling deep inside – even if everything points to you being nuts or overreacting – listen to it anyway. Trust it. Now I’m not talking about late night self-diagnosis from some WedMD search…we’ve all been there and that’s the time to step away from the computer and go back to sleep. But ask any momma and she will tell you at least one “mom moment” when there was no way she could know what she did but her gut feeling turned out to be right.

Screen Shot 2015-12-02 at 4.56.49 PM One from my own past took place at the town swimming pool. My husband was with my middle child at the “big pool” and I was with my youngest at the baby pool. It was a beautiful afternoon and my friend and I were enjoying watching our toddlers splash, our backs to the big pool. It’s a big complex and the pools are not near each other. I heard the blasts of whistles to get the attention of the lifeguards that meant either a drill or that help was needed. A chill went up my spine – a literal chill on a hot summer day – and I shouted to my friend to watch my little one and I took off running. I just knew the person hurt was my other son even though I was far away and couldn’t see. I knew right where to go. I ran the distance of the olympic pool and around to the diving well, getting there as soon as my husband did even though he was very close by. A kid had changed their mind about the high dive and started back down the ladder my son was on. Luckily my son’s foot got caught in a rung well above the concrete so his head never hit. All he had was a bad bruise and sprain.

I believe that when we are connected and pay attention, we feel things in our hearts, minds and bodies. I think we all have this capacity. Our job, if we wish, is to figure out how to tune in and trust ourselves, even if doing so feels a bit silly. This serves me well as a doula, as a mom and as a plain old human being.

Sharpen those spider senses and they will serve you well.

~ Kim

28 Oct 2015

Deirdre McLary Blog, Doula, Doula Agency, Lifestyle, Maternity Agency, new mother, postpartum, Pregnancy baby, Bergen County, Birth, breastfeeding, childbirth, Doula, doula training, IBCLC, Maplewood, motherhood, Newborn, newborn care, newmom, North Jersey, nourishing, Nyack, NYC, postpartum doula, Pregnancy, Rockland County, Saddle River, self care, soup

Postpartum Soup for the Win!

Untitled design (3) We do a lot of postpartum nurturing. Directly as postpartum doulas, or as part of a postpartum check-in with our labor support clients, and of course, as lactation consultants visiting new moms in their homes. We see new mommas all the time. We see how they adjust in those first few weeks, what their rhythm is, when, how and if they “self care”. You know what one thing seems to be universally met with sheer joy, relief and absolute gratitude? SOUP! It does a body good.

At MommaArts we’ve been exploring with making soups and smoothies for our postpartum clients for a while now. Smoothies in the warm months, soups in the cold ones. We even carry an immersion blender with us in our postpartm bag if we know the client doesn’t have a (good enough) blender. (DOULA NOTE: this is a great thing to add into your prenatal intake. Ask about soups, smoothies, food aversions, allergies and of course – scope out their blender situation!).

This recipe is a hit, and oooh so simple. Here are our rules of doula cooking … there are none! Be flexible and have fun. Remember, it’s all about nourishing a new momma, not the perfect recipe. So if you’re missing an ingredient, it’s all good. New Momma will still love a warm soup on a cold winter day, so don’t stress the details here.

Cauliflower Leek Soup

What you’ll need:

Cauliflower: 2 – 3 heads fresh (rough chopped, leaves/main stem removed) -or- 2-3 16oz bags frozen

Frozen Leeks (we’ve always found them available at Trader Joes). Leeks can be a pain in the ass to clean – so if you can’t find a frozen bag, and don’t feel like cleaning fresh – skip and use twice the onion, a clove or two of garlic, and maybe some scallion for garnish.

One white or yellow onion

butter or olive oil

broth (any kind) or simply water (remember, be flexible)

your clients preferred dairy (cow milk, almond, soy, coconut)

Salt & pepper, seasoning to taste

We made this soup for a momma who had elminated both dairy and gluten fromher diet. So we used soy and for snack we added her own rice cakes which she loved. <3 — We made this soup for a momma who had elminated both dairy and gluten from her diet. So we used soy, and for snack we added her own rice cakes, which she loved.

To Make:

Slice onions, however you like, into smaller bits

Toss in soup pot with butter or olive oil

Saute ’til they “sweat” and the house starts to smell ah-maaaazing!

Add half a bag frozen TD leeks (save rest for next time)

Let ’em sweat together

When they’re really wilted, add a little broth or water to almost cover them

Add cauliflower and COVER the pot so it steams and softens cauliflower. (DOULA NOTE: while you wait for it to steam – it’s a perfect time to do the dishes, empty/change dishwasher, tidy where you can in the kitchen.)

Once the cauliflower is soft and mushy, transfer to good blender or use immersion blender. You’re making a milk shake now is the way we see it – so as you blend ADD dairy to help make it more creamy. ASK your client how they prefer it – thicker, creamier, etc. Continue to add milk until desired taste, texture.

Pour back into soup pot from blender and heat some more (since milk may have cooled it down).

Serve with cut veggies, grilled cheese, toast points, whatever you or your clients wants!

YUM and happy postpartum eating!

Deirdre & Kim

5 Sep 2015

Deirdre McLary Blog, Childbirth, Doula, Doula Agency, Lifestyle, Maternity Agency, Pregnancy baby, Bergen County, Doula, episiotomy, Maplewood, Maternity Concierge, North Jersey, Nyack, postpartum doula, postpartum soothing pads, Pregnancy, Rockland County

Soothing Postpartum Pads

We know how to take care of you postpartum, including perineums. We’ve been doing this for years now. If there’s something you need – we’re going to jump right on it and make it happen, even if you haven’t quite figured out what it is you need exactly.

One of those items we love, and make sure that you have, are postpartum pads, sometimes called “padcicles”. They bring comfort and soothing in those first days home with baby. We’ll either recommend making them prior to baby’s arrival, or we’ll bring the ingredients to you on our first visit and make them for you once we arrive.

Babies come out. But sometimes your perineum can take a bit of a beating, or you may be struggling with hemorrhoids. No one wants to have achy-ness and tenderness in those first days home with baby, but many of us do. Isn’t it nice to have some soothing relief when you need it? And we promise, with these, you’ll be smiling and saying “ahhhh” the minute you put them on.

For info on these, and more of our great postpartum offerings, connect with us! We’d love to chat and make sure you have what you and baby need to get off to a great start.

Deirdre & Kim

27 Aug 2015

Deirdre McLary Blog, Doula, Pregnancy become a doula, Doula, doula buisness, doula jobs, doula mentor, doula profession, doula training, labor support doula, NJ, NYC, postpartum doula, Rockland, Westchester

Expand Your Doula Practice With Our 6 Week Mentorship Program

Who do you want to be your mentor? If you read our blog post a bit ago about United We Doula, you know that we care deeply about the art of doulaing.

We believe in creating community. Lasting, sustainable doula practices where we hold each other up, expect the best from each other and yes, celebrate the difference in each other. And we want to share this ideology with you.

Join us online for six weeks of creative, dynamic, doula fun!

How do you visualize being a doula? Where do you feel you fit in among birthing communities? Trust us – you do fit in somewhere. As long as there are pregnant women, you’ll find where you fit. Our mantra has always been “you go to the births you’re meant to go to” just as you “become the doula you’re meant to be”. It’s intuitive, nurturing work. You’ve nurtured a postpartum mother to trust her instincts, yes? Doula instinct is no different. It needs to be nurtured too.

Here’s how it works. Six weeks. Wednesday Nights. 7pm. Login and join us. Using Google Hangout we’ll exchange ideas, grow resources, boost confidence, and charge up your doula practice.

Each online session is one hour for subject matter, with a flexible Q&A session at the end, if time allows.

Wk 1 Build Your Doula Bag (tricks & tools of the trade)
Wk 2 On Call Life & Scheduling (learning to manage clients, expectations, birth plans)
Wk 3 Boundaries (knowing how intimate relationships can get, where & when to draw lines)
Wk 4 Adding Complimentary Care (can lactation, childbirth education, etc, enhance your practice)
Wk 5 Expand Your Practice (become an expert at social media skills and boosting local visibility)
Wk 6 Birth Story Share (sharing wisdom of the good, the bad, the ugly in the ultimate birth story hour)

REGISTRATION IN ADVANCE REQUIRED.

Session 1 starts October 7
Session 2 starts December 2

Each session is $20.

You may buy one at a time or buy all six in advance for $100 plus a commitment to share & tag each session via your social media outlets.

We all want the same thing – to improve the quality of maternity care in our country by creating the best births possible. Join us!

United we doula,
Deirdre & Kim

23 Aug 2015

Deirdre McLary Blog, Breastfeeding, childbirth education, Doula, Lifestyle, Maternity Agency, Pregnancy Bergen County, childbirth, Doula, IBCLC, Lactation Consultant, Maplewood, New City, Newborn, Newborn Specialist, North Jersey, NY, postpartum doula, Pregnancy, Rockland County, Westchester

Beat The Heat & Breastfeeding

On more than one occasion I remember sitting down to nurse my babies during a heat wave and found the calm moment to just be still a very welcome one indeed, especially if I remembered to have a cool drink near by and was lucky enough to find breezy shade or even better, air-conditioning.

Summertime Breastfeeding The worst feeling, when you’re already tired from motherhood, is to feel slippery and slimy and dripping with sweat as you go to nurse your baby. These common sense ideas will probably make you go, “oh, of course” but believe me – as a new mother, I needed someone to tell me exactly how to brush my teeth, my brain was in such a perpetual fog.

The problem with very hot days is that we tend to want to stay in our on air-conditioned space. But that can be isolating to a new mom. We encourage you to get out in the beauty of the day and enjoy the sunshine at least for a little bit if you can. Getting out into the world is a huge part of healing and growing strong after childbirth. And as long as you are prepared for the heat, you can sail through the hot months without issue.

One: Despite what relatives and well meaning friends may suggest, water is not necessary for a breastfed baby, especially in the first 6 months. Breastmilk is over 80% water. Offering water will fill a baby tummy with empty calories at a time where every calorie is critical. That small bottle/cup of water may actually backfire, as baby may show less signs in being interested in breastfeeding come the next feeding due to a false sense of “full” from the water.

The best way to nurse a summer baby is to continue with on demand feedings. If it is a true heat wave, you can always offer more, and your breasts will adjust to the supply and demand economics. That’s the magic of breastmilk and feeding on demand – it adjusts to your baby’s needs!

COOL TIP: if you’re both very sweaty when sitting down to nurse, and skin to skin seems like it’s going to be a hot mess, grab a gauze (aden + anais stle) blanket. Putting a light natural fiber blanket between you and baby will absorb sweat, and keep you from sticking to one another. For sweaty heads resting on your arm – the same, use a light washcloth or folded blanket to absorb the sweat and keep baby from slip-sliding during your hold.

Two: Some, but not all, babies do become irritable in the heat. This does not mean your milk supply isn’t meeting their needs. Like any older child or adult, they are just looking for a way to chill out … so read your baby’s cues and take measures to help them through the heat. Dress them in light colors & natural fibers, keep them in the shade and air conditioning, dress in layers and have a light blanket handy for when you do enter a cool air-conditioned place. Use a damp, cool washcloth to gently wipe & soothe away the sweat when necessary. And be mindful of chubby neck, leg and arm rolls that may get rashy due to extra sweat.

Three: Know your neighborhood! What air-conditioned coffee shops, stores, libraries, restaurants, new mommy classes welcome a mom to take a break from the heat? Are you comfortable nursing in public? If not, come to a mommy group meeting with us and we’ll get you ready for summer nursing in public. Also, remember the hours when the sun beats down the hottest – noon to 3pm. This is especially good if you’re looking to get out for exercise or with an older sibling. Stick to morning hours or late afternoon.

Four: What is your body telling you? Look to breastfeeding as not only be a time for your sweaty summer baby to nourish, but as a reminder to you to cool down too. Don’t over do it in the heat. Breastfeeding will burn on average about 200 – 500 calories a day. You’re busy enough trying to keep nourished, balanced and even chase a toddler or two … without throwing in the stresses of a heat wave! Take it easy in the summer heat.

COOL TIP: Always carry a small, pretty umbrella in your diaper bag that you can take out and use as a parasol if the sun is really driving down on you. And of course, it’ll come in hand if there’s a sudden summer rainstorm.

Five: Have available in abundance hydrating, water filled foods & drink in your kitchen. “Water foods” help with postpartum water retention and edema, so if you just had your baby, these are great for those still swollen feet and fingers …

watermelon
cucumbers
celery
grapes (frozen grapes are a great, refreshing treat!)
fresh dandelion greens
corn on the cob (warm or cold)
peaches
blueberries
asparagus salad (cold)
cold soups – gazpacho, cucumber
herbal iced teas
water with chunks of melon, berries, lemon, lime, orange, grapefruit and cucumber cut up in it

Six: If you don’t know where to go and what to do with yourself on a hot day, find a good local breastfeeding group. La Leche League, Breastfeeding USA and MeetUp all likely have local groups monthly, if not weekly, near you. We at MommaArts have several great breastfeeding group options throughout the month. Keep an eye on our Facebook page for updates, times and details.

COOL TIP: Make frozen maxi pads and bandannas . If you’re newly postpartum, you’re probably not going out much. But a great cooling and soothing tip is to take maxi pads that bring relief where you want and need it more. Take some pads (remove from individual wrapping), put them in a gallon zip lock, pour witch hazel over them, add a soothing essential oil like lavender or even aloe vera, and toss in freezer. Instant soothing pads for your first days postpartum. Or, if you’re ready to really go out for strolls and walks – do the same with a few colorful, fun bandannas, rolling them a bit like a classic neckerchief, wet with water and essential oils, toss them in the freezer and use when you need.

Soon enough, the cool breeze of summer’s end will be here and you’ll be looking for Halloween costumes for your little one … so hang in there, stay cool & healthy, and nurse your baby with love and frequency!

Deirdre & Kim